A Guide to Your First Trimester: 10 Things to Consider as a First-Time Mom
Congrats on your pregnancy! Now what do you do, or should you be doing? Join me as I go through this myself for the first time.
Your first trimester is such an exciting, confusing, and isolating time. You want to tell the world, but you can’t quite yet. You are waiting to see your doctor to confirm if this is really happening, but what do you do in-between? I found this time to be very lonesome and the biggest challenge was not being able to talk about it. I am of course not a doctor, just sharing my personal experience and what I found useful to know. Hoping you feel less lonesome with this reflection.
Step 1: Get yourself to a pharmacy and buy yourself multiple pregnancy tests.
Do not buy the ones with the lines! You will waste more time questioning if that second line is actually there vs. getting a definite “PREGNANT” result from the digital tests. Buy multiple and test over a few days because unfortunately false positives do happen. I think I bought 4 and tested them all on the same day because I could not believe the results…nor could I discern that damn second line.
Step 2: Make an appointment with your OB/GYN.
Most doctors don’t take you until you are 7+ weeks, which I think is a crazy amount of time to wait. And by the way, your pregnancy starts from the first day of your last missed period. I could not believe that I was technically 4.5-5 weeks along already…
I called my OB/GYN immediately the day after I took my first test and begged my way into seeing her that week. There was obviously no baby to see at that point so early on, but she confirmed via a vaginal ultrasound the tiny black dot (that would form the sac) was the first sign of pregnancy.
Step 3: Research where you want to give birth.
I live in NYC and have friends who gave birth at NYU, Weil Cornell NY Presbyterian and Lenox Hill. I heard great things about all, but ultimately, I felt NYP was the best one for me. The Alexandra Cohen birthing hospital wing is entirely new, and all rooms are private. I did not know this was not always guaranteed at some hospitals you have to pay extra for this. Lastly, though by no means a primary factor in determining your hospital choice, I feel compelled to point out you receive a little Chanel gift at the end of your “stay” here.
Step 4: Research who you want your OB/GYN to be.
Now that you narrowed down where you want to give birth, time to pick a doctor who delivers there. Again, this is just my personal preference. I know a few women who loved their current OB/GYN and went with the hospital they deliver at. However, the doctor you pick will not 100% be the one to deliver you! I did not know that until I went through this process, which of course now makes sense given the volume of mamas and only so many doctors. BUT the practice you pick, can make your chances to have your OB/GYN actually deliver you…
Private vs Public
Essentially some OB/GYNs take insurance (public), and some are out of pocket (private). What does this mean and how does it work?
If you pick an OB/GYN that is public this means that you likely won’t pay out-of-pocket per visit, just whatever your co-pay is (depends on your insurance, some have 0). Usually, the public practices have a number of doctors who might deliver you but the OB you pick will more than likely not be the one actually delivering you. It will depend on the size of the practice, but one public doctor I saw was upfront with me and said she delivers less than 50% of patients who picked her as their OB. Two things to note if you go this route at WCP. 1) the waiting times can be longer here as it is at a hospital where they are not only solely seeing pregnant women. 2) you can only pick one OB/GYN, you cannot shop around. Once you make an appointment with one you are assigned in the system to them for the rest of your pregnancy. I only heard far and few cases where women were able to switch to another public doctor tied to NYP; mostly women were only able to switch on their second birth.
If you pick an OB/GYN that is private this means that each visit you will be out-of-pocket whatever their fees are. This is the catch of going private but the chances of your private OB delivering you are 90%+ unless they are away or observing a holiday. They usually split it up by charging you an initial consultation and then X amount per trimester so it’s not EVERY visit. Then once the baby is born, you can submit to your insurance (depending on your coverage the cost will vary how much is covered). It’s worth calling your insurance and seeing if you can submit after each trimester charge.
After calling insurance to see how much would be covered, we ended up going the private doctor route. The practice we picked has only 3 female OBs - they let you shop around but the catch is you have to pay the consultation fee for each doctor. I met with 2 of the OBs and liked the second the best. Plus, what sealed the deal for me was her planned 2024 PTO dates / holidays aligned with my due date without potential conflicts. The wait times for my specific doctor so far have been non-existent, she always sees me right away. Personally, I felt more at ease in a smaller practice but again this is just my experience. Now is a good time to acknowledge though too, we are incredibly lucky to have Chase’s insurance plan, which is a really good one and made this financially possible. Lastly, for curious minds, I am sharing the list of OB/GYN recommendations tied to NYP which I got referred to:
Step 5: Order prenatal vitamins ASAP.
Before ordering, I asked the multiple OBs I saw which they preferred, and no one seemed to have a strong brand preference. As long as it contains DHA, you are golden. I ordered this one on Amazon and have been liking it so far. Your OB will then tell you to buy calcium pills but let them tell you what dose you need exactly.
Step 6: Hydrate, order a Stanley - trust me.
Before getting pregnant, I always thought these were funny and a suburb mom thing for those who had cars. Now I love it and the straw makes a difference! I had never been the person who drinks a lot of water, and this forces me to.
Also, say goodbye to good sleep. When I told my dentist I was pregnant, his unsolicited advice was “get as much sleep as you can, once the baby comes along you won’t be sleeping much”. I laughed at this because since getting pregnant I had not been able to sleep through the night without having to wake up to pee 1-2x. Now in my second trimester, the frequent peeing has stopped thank goodness.
And to stay extra hydrated, electrolytes are your new friend! Try these packets and add them to your morning / night routine. To be transparent, I never loved the taste and am considering just taking these electrolyte pills instead.
Step 7: Hire baby nurse if you’re planning on one.
Like my OB referrals, I also received a baby and night nurse list from a friend. It was a lengthy list of about 20-30 nurses that were compiled from word of mouth or friends of friends. Believe it or not, these ladies book up fast especially in high demand areas like NYC. A lot of moms will utilize the same nurses for their second or third child and reach out the minute their pregnancy test showed positive. I started texting the list 7 weeks in to gage how accurate this was, and it was indeed very true.
What’s a baby nurse vs a night nurse? A night nurse is with you for 12-hour periods at night to help you with feeding and helps you get some sleep at night. A baby nurse is with you 24/7 for a period of time and lives with you. They both teach you and your partner how to care for a baby, feed a baby and are there to help you with baby things only (not housework / meals). So, it just depends on if this is something you feel is right for you - but I only hear wonders from accepting extra help.
Step 8: Join mommy Facebook Groups.
I did this very early on to understand this new world I am about to enter. It’s actually pretty entertaining and informative! I am a crazy person and joined UES and Park Slope mommy groups, too because I wanted to ensure I had ears all over despite living in Tribeca. I learned a lot on baby rash remedies, pimples & which parks to avoid in the city. This is also a great place to find baby / night nurses if you don’t have word of mouth recommendations.
Step 9: Order this book, it saved my sanity and life.
When you first visit your OB/GYN, you will leave home with a huge packet of pregnancy no-no’s. No more drinking, sushi, Advil or burrata for the next 9 months. This was not new news to me but still I looked at my doctor like she had 5 heads when she said this out loud directed at me (not my friend, SIL or family relative). A friend kindly enlightened me to the world of Emily and handed me this book. It will prove with actual statistics what you can / can’t do pregnant. Of course, take it with a grain of salt, it’s all about the level of risk you’re comfortable with.
Another good book I read early on was this one. I laughed because a lot of the parenting tactics recommended, we had already unknowingly been doing with our cavalier Scout. Hoping our baby follows suit seamlessly and does “her nights”.
Step 10: Listen to your body’s needs and eat warm foods!
Get ready for cravings! I was never a fruit person and now all I want are acai bowls (@PlayaBowls). Listen to your body, it’s telling you what it needs. Also, a big Chinese medicine practice is to eat lots of warm foods. They believe in warm liquids & warm foods is good for the soul. It keeps the belly warm & keeps mama strong.
I’ll end with these additional observations from my first trimester:
Weeks 5-10 will be extremely lonely until you tell your inner circle the news.
Get ready to feel constant fatigue - bed by 9:30 pm became my new norm. everyone said I’d get my energy back once I hit my second trimester (still waiting)
You might get really bad morning sickness - I was fortunate not to but was instead just constantly tired. If you do get nauseous - try Ginger Ale, saltine crackers, eating smaller but frequent meals and try these.
You may experience nose bleeds - my first one was at 4 - 4.5 weeks, and I still get them randomly! Carry tissues everywhere just in case because people will look at you funny and assume something else.
You will get no sympathy for not drinking or being tired all the time until you tell people you’re pregnant, then you’ll be treated like the Virgin Mary.
I am excited to share more about this here via Substack. To me, it’s been unchartered territory that is a long, daunting journey ahead. Thanks for following along and stay tuned for second trimester thoughts.
Wishing you all a healthy and sane pregnancy x